No Problem

I find, ‘No problem,’ the everyday response to my courteous, ‘Thank you,’ so irritating. It doesn’t sound friendly like; ‘Your welcome,’ or even ‘Alright mate,’ It sounds dismissive, with a suggestion of, ‘I don’t really give a hoot.’

          When I ordered coffee from a young man, he created my Americano with a flourish and a jug of cold milk, just as I’d ordered. ‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘No problem,’ he fired back already juggling his next order.

‘No problem? I should hope not. You’re a Barista, an expert in preparing coffee. You do it all day. Why would making one cause you a problem?’ Of course, I didn’t actually speak up.

          And the group of school girls who stepped aside and held the store door open for me. ‘Thank you,’ I said and beamed. ‘No problem,’ came back a squeaky chorus. My expression turned to that of a TV celeb. eating earthworms. Why should there be a problem with the simple act of holding a door open for someone?

          I saw a different side to this when a policeman signalled me to stop my car. A battered fridge lay on its side blocking the road ahead. He and his partner were guiding the traffic around it. ‘Just wait here a minute sir.’ When the oncoming traffic subsided, he waved me through the gap. ‘Thank you,’ I called to him.  ‘No problem,’ he replied, but I wasn’t annoyed. Those two cops had coned off each side of the hazard, strategically parked the police car with lights flashing and were now helping motorists on their way. They had gone to a lot of trouble to sort out the problem and yet he had told me that it wasn’t a problem.

So, I can accept, ‘No problem,’ when someone is playing down a big effort that they have made on behalf of others, but it’s irritating, when they are performing a small chore lasting a few seconds. Especially in a sing song voice.